To say that these past months have been a walk in the park or easy would be a lie but man can I say that God is so SO good! He is present and He is my strength! He hears us when we call out to Him and He reminds me daily of His love towards us. After the passing of my sweet little Melusi I was heartbroken, but with the Lord as my strength, He has allowed me to continue with the work that He has called me to do here. Have you ever faced the challenge in your life where the world around you seems to be falling apart? People around you that you love and care about passing away? Having your heart broken by someone? Things not going well in school? Questioning what your purpose in life is? And the list can go on. Many of us face the challenge in life where something goes wrong or someone hurts us, breaking our heart. Whether it be someone whom you love breaking your heart or someone dear to you that you trusted. Could even be a stranger who chooses the wrong words or actions to express themselves towards you or those around you. While here in Swaziland I have faced the challenge of watching as some of my cute innocent little children are abandoned by their parents because they feel that they can't take care of them or choose not to. Or mother's who have children and choose to follow a guy so they leave their children with their Gogo(grandmother) or Make(mother). I've also seen how many people here in Swaziland watch stealing take place, accepting it as a norm and teaching the children that it's ok to steal to get what you want. Swaziland has become my khaya(home) and what hurts my children hurts me. It hurts me to watch them hurt. To watch them struggle. To watch them as they have to become like adults at such a young age to be able to take care of one another. To watch as so many people whom they love and that I've grown to love pass away due to illnesses or tragedies. We live in a world with so much pain and hurt where people are mistreating each other, abandoning each other or causing harm in a way in which we feel the pain will never end BUT through it all God is in the midst bringing peace, grace and healing. I'm a strong believer that grace that is extended with love conquers ALL because God conquers it all through His love and grace. I would agree when they say that its easy for us to expect grace to be extended to us but when its our turn to extend that grace, we find it more of a challenge. Back in December I watched as two people close to my heart here in Swaziland dared to steal many things from us.... As well as other cases in which we still don't know who stole our items. I was heartbroken! Not because of the materialistic items because those come and go, but because of the fact that people that we trusted and care for would do that to us. Before finding out who they were my biggest challenge for weeks was looking into the eyes of my children and all the families that we care for here, not knowing who it was. I also came across another situation in January when we had a clothing distribution for those who helped us at our SOHO farm. One of the lady's tried to steal clothing items by tucking them in between pockets of other items or in pants. As I caught her my heart sunk. I didnt know what to do or say... I turned to one of our helpers for guidance on what to do and she told me, "You either ignore it or get used to it!" I couldn't believe the words that came out of her mouth. I gave the lady the amount of items that they were allowed to get and off she went. I was so in shock. I felt numb. I just didn't know what to do. She simply walked away, without a "I'm sorry" or anything.... That night I cried... Cried because I couldn't accept the fact that this is what some of the adults here in Swaziland are teaching their children. Cried because I couldn't accept the fact that they are stealing from the same hands that gives them all that we can give. About two weeks later is when I really got to experience that grace that Jesus shows us throughout scripture. One Saturday, as the Sabbath came to a close and I was taking a Sabbath nap, I was awakened by a phone call from Make(mother) Monica to Ma Joy. She was frantic, telling her that a gogo who lives down the hill near where we live was hurt. We didnt know exactly what was going on. Was she still alive? Is she ok? What was wrong? I quickly ran down the hill with Make Monica's son as we shouted out to her searching to find out exactly where they were. We found them! We found the lady lying on the ground unconscious. It seemed as if she had injured herself while chopping wood. I quickly ran back home to tell Ma Joy and Pa Louis, who are my South African parents that I live with. They were already at the gate waiting for us to be able to take the gogo to the hospital. We were able to get people to help us carry the gogo up the hill to where our van was. As we entered the van Make Monica told us that we must wait for her niece who had the gogo's medical documents. Then, I come to find out that the niece is not only but the lady who a few days back tried to steal. My heart sunk as she entered the van and together we helped her aunt. That night, putting what happened aside we worked together for the good of her aunt. The following day I was asked to go back down the hill to where this gogo's home was. The family wanted to talk to me. It didn't dawn on me that the reason they told me to go down there was to give me the news that this gogo who was ill passed away. As I was sitting there in their living room, the niece walked in sobbing. I couldn't just sit there and just watch her cry. I hugged her and comforted her. At that moment I learned to put my anger and hurt aside, to love regardless of what had happened. Grace is extending love to all! A month later in February I found out who stole one of my personal belongings. I ended up finding out that it was one of my very own girls from a teen camp that I had the privilege of leading back in August. My heart was broken to find out who it was and how she went about in doing it. Even so, my heart was broken because she showed no remorse towards what she did and was forced to ask me for forgiveness. What to do or say to her when I face her? Was my question at that moment. I didn't know, but I did know that God would guide me and help me through it. A few days after finding out, her and her mother came to see us to apologize. We could've reported it to the police and she would have been in big trouble but instead I CHOSE TO EXTEND GRACE! As much as she hurt me and I felt as if my trust in her was stripped away I couldn't do that to her. I extended that grace, that trust me was hard to do. But how can I not? If God does the same when I fall, when we fall. He gives us that second chance to get right back up. That night when she came to apologize I poured out my heart to her. I told her how much I care about her and that I want nothing but the best for her. That I want her dreams and goals that she told me about back in August to become a reality. That the wrong choices that we make in life have consequences but that doesn't mean that she can't get right back up and do good. My trust was definitely tested these past months and I found it so hard to trust those around me after all that had happened, but the Lord has helped me through it. My frustration in the parents of my sweet innocent children here and the examples that they give them continued and continues to frustrate me but I have come to realize that not everyone here is the same. That there are amazing people here who are trying to rise above their circumstances and work hard . That there are parents, family members and gogos who are trying their best to raise these beautiful children. In this world full of pain, challenges and evil we must learn to rise above it all and show them that Christ has conquered and continues to conquer it all with love! I have come to realize that when we face such situations in which you are frustrated with what is happening around you, you can either choose to be upset about it all, simply complaining and just watching it all continue to happen, or you can choose to rise above the circumstance, seeing how you can make a positive change. I have also come to realize that "forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing you were the prisoner"- Max Lucado When people hurt us or those that we love, it is difficult to not feel like retaliating but as we see in John 13 Jesus leads by example. On that final night, when Jesus and His disciples gathered in the upper room for Passover Jesus chose to do something that most people during that time wouldn't dare to do. This was something that was common for the slaves to do for their masters. Jesus, the Son of God, humbly washed the disciples feet! He didn't just choose one but He washed the feet of all of the disciples, even though He knew that they would betray Him, not trust in Him and leave Him to face His accusers alone. So what does God do to all those that do wrong? He washes their feet! How beautiful is that! Many people would then ask theses questions.... "You expect me to wash his/her feet after all that he/she did to me? And simply just let what happened go?" "Most people don't want to....... Most people keep a pot of anger on low boil. "But you aren't most people" Grace has happened to you. Look at your feet. They are wet, grace soaked. Your toes and arches and heels have felt the cool basin of God's grace. Jesus has washed the grimiest parts of your life. He didn't bypass you and carry the basin toward someone else. If grace were a wheat field, he's bequeathed you the state of Kansas. Can't you share your grace with others? Revenge won't paint the blue back in your sky or restore the springs in your step. No. It will leave you bitter, bent, and angry. Give the grace you've been given. You don't endorse the deeds of your offender when you do. Jesus didn't endorse your sins by forgiving you. Grace doesn't tell the daughter to like the father who molested her. It doesn't tell the oppressed to wink at injustice. The grace-defined person still sends thieves to jail and expects an ex to pay child support. Grace is not blind. It sees the hurt full well. But grace chooses to see God's forgiveness even more. It refuses to let hurts poison the heart." -Max Lucado This past week I had the opportunity to work with our form school(high school) students that we have on our education fund. Education here in Swaziland is not easy to obtain because form school is not free. Many students end up dropping out at a very young age. Thanks to generous sponsors and donations, through our education fund, we are able to help as many students as we can with their school fees, uniforms or transportation costs for the year. We had an Education Fund Camp, in which we brought in "Real Life Role Models" speakers, had workshops, devotionals, a work program where the students helped harvest the maize at our SOHO farming land, helped at our community garden and so much more. As I got to know these wonderful students more during this past week I was reminded of how hard working these children in Swaziland are. I've realized that we must set that example for them, that they possibly all don't get to see at home. That we must show them that hard work does pay off. That it's better to work hard for the things that you want. That there are people who love them, want them to succeed and are there to support them. That they are not alone! That they will face challenges but that we serve a God that will be with them every step of the way. That they are loved by us and most importantly loved by God! I have faith... I have hope.... That these children... That this community... That the people here in Swaziland... The people that have become family... Will rise above their circumstances and achieve all that they set their minds to. That they will see that together they can work hard to succeed. That they will realize that they are surrounded by people who love them. Most importantly that they will know that there is a God of grace and love! One night, during camp, I was making cookies with one of our campers and as we were making them she randomly told me, ''Miss Patricia, I've been to many camps but I really like this one. With this one I feel like I am really growing spiritually and mentally. Thank you.'' Her words made my day because everything we do here is for them. For them to grow and see that they do have a bright future ahead of them in the midst of their challenges. On Friday, the last day of camp, we also drove some of the students back to their homesteads. As we dropped of the last camper, she got off the van and with a big smile on her face as she hugged me said, ''Bye, bye. I love you.'' I then responded back to her, ''I love you too. See you again soon''. I am not a student missionary to receive anything in return but I am a servant of God because I want people to experience that same love and grace that God gives to me, to all of us. I want to reflect Christ so that many can come to know Him. But I must say that my heart was happy as she told me those words. Happy because it made me realize that she is happy! Happy because in the midst of our frustration we as SOHO are doing something right. Happy because I hope that she is experiencing the love of Christ. I have found grace, peace, love and forgiveness! 1 John 4:7 With love, Patty Our Education Fund Students These children... My beautiful Swazi children are so hardworking and loving! They are what keeps me going. I admire them for their strength and courage! They've taught me how to laugh and smile through everything! Finding beauty and happiness in everything! I love them so SO much! <3
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