Being here in Africa for almost four months now has been such a life changing experience. I've grown so much and although the living conditions may be out of my comfort zone and many challenges come my way it, has been exciting to experience many moments in which I get to say, "My first time doing _______ ever" or "First time doing this or that in Africa" From having no running water, limited supply of water and facing other challenges, I have learned to appreciate all that I have and those that I love. I have grown so much and have had so many exciting moments, such as learning how to jive or farm, in which I was proud to say that it was my first time experiencing those things.
BUT on November 20, 2015 I didn't want this "First time..." to happen. It was Friday and we were so excited because it was the last day of school for the year, and we couldn't wait for our preschool graduations that next week. That excitement quickly turned into sadness as I received the news that one of my little preschool cuties passed away that morning at 11 am. As I received the news over the phone, I burst into tears crying. My heart filled with sadness, anger, hurt and a mixture of emotions. I just couldn't believe it! So many questions ran through my mind. Why God? Why did this have to happen? At that moment my heart felt so broken and I still continue to ask God for strength every day. My little Melusi passed away that Friday, November 20, 2015 at the young age of 5 years old and I just couldn't accept or believe it. So many things that I still wanted to help him with and frustration hit me as I wished that there could have been something that I could've done to stop him from passing away but there wasn't. My little cutie got so ill. I couldn't wait to watch him grow and continue to be there for him, and many days I sit here wishing that he didn't pass away but only God knows why. There are many "First time.." moments in which I couldn't wait to experience here, but my first night vigil and burial service in Africa for one of my very own preschool students was definitely not one of them. Here in Africa, when someone passes away they take them to their home to spend the last night there with their family for a night vigil, where everyone goes to visit the family to give their condolences throughout the night, before having their burial service the next morning. As Melusi's sister, Gugu walked me into the room, she sat me down right next to the family in the room with Melusi, as if I were part of their family. As I sat there in the cold room on the grass mats on the ground, tears rolled down my eyes, as I had my little Melusi to the left of me and people from the community kneeling down in front of us to sing, pray and to give their condolences. That night was so difficult and it got even more difficult for me when we had his burial service that next morning at 5:30 am. As we were ready to begin the service, Gugu reached for my hand, as again she lead me to the front. As we stood there with everyone in the cemetery, my heart felt heavy and so broken. Throughout the service I kept praying for God's strength. At that moment I wished that it was all just a nightmare. That I could open my eyes and wake up from this nightmare. That Melusi wasn't gone. But no, my reality was that my little Melusi passed away and I was at the cemetery. As the service continued they asked for the immediate family to come up to grab some dirt from the shovel with their hands and place it in the hole where he was being buried. It's part of their culture for the family to do that before they begin to cover the hole. Gugu quickly grabbed my hand, stood up and said "Let's go". Once again they made me feel a part of their family. As she held my right hand and we both reached for the dirt in the shovel I was ready to shout and say NO! THIS CANT BE! But instead I took a deep breath and felt God giving me peace. God was there with us through it all and continues to be there for me during this heartbreak. He continues to give me peace when I feel like I can't take it anymore. Although these past weeks have been a challenge and a day doesn't go by without me thinking of Melusi, I will forever cherish the moments that God allowed me to have with him. Everywhere I go where I spent time with Melusi, I think of him and remember all the moments that we shared. I know that once January hits and school starts again it will be difficult to accept that he is not there with us and will not be graduating, but I am taking it a day at a time. I know that God will continue to give us the strength and peace that only He can give us. One day our little Melusi came to school struggling to keep his pants on, which were too big for him and he had no underwear on. We quickly helped him and he went home so happy. Before Melusi passed away, my older brother asked me if there was anything that the children needed for Christmas and that moment with Melusi at school came to mind right away. I couldn't wait to surprise Melusi this Christmas. In honor of Melusi, I will be raising funds to give the children underwear and socks, during our clothing distribution at our Christmas parties this month on the 20th and 25th. If you would like to help in any way please contact me. A donation of any amount is greatly appreciated. Melusi will always hold a special place in my heart and I have this blessed assurance that one day we will all be reunited once again where there is no more pain and no more suffering. Our wifi was taken out by a big thunderstorm two weeks ago and as I finally was able to connect to social media yesterday I felt overwhelmed to find out about everything that is happening back home as well. Thinking and praying for my La Sierra University Campus family who experienced the loss of one of our students, Nicholas Culver and Bobby Brown's wife, Velda Cobb-Brown, as well as those who were affected by the tragedy in San Bernardino and others who are experiencing the loss of a loved one. May we continue to hold on to God's promises and love during this difficult time. Dear Melusi, Thank you for showing me how to live day by day. For showing me how to smile and laugh, even when things are difficult. For making my day with your adorable chimuelo smile and cute little dance moves. Thank you for being one of my little dance partners, as you reached for my hands every day to dance, swaying from left to right. For teaching me how to jive. For teaching me how to love without expecting anything in return and for simply being you. I wish that I could hug you again and continue to be your "teacha" but for now I'll hold on to those memories, until we meet again. Ngiyakuthanda Melusi! With Love, Teacha Patricia Siyabonga Jesu! Thank you Jesus for the time that I got to spend with Melusi, my family here in Africa and my strong support system back home whom I love so much.
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