"Take a deep breath.... Everything is going to be ok" I have been telling myself this for a while now as what seemed like months are now only days away from me getting on that plane and arriving to Africa. As I begin to take care of the final things that need to get done before I leave and start saying "See you when I get back" to friends and loved ones different thoughts are continually running through my mind.. Not only that but it might sound crazy to you but tears of joy and sadness come and go. I am sad to leave all the people that I love but I know that it's "not a goodbye but a see you later" and that they will always be there for me. Tears of joy run down my face because I can't believe that soon I will be meeting the children and families that I already love without them even knowing it. Also, because God continues to remind me that even in my moments of stress, He is with me and brings peace to my soul. I can't believe that God has provided and has lead me to this point in my life. Although I still haven't reached my financial need goal for my time there, I will continue to walk by faith and trust in Him. It is so clear for me to see that this is what He has called me to do and I am still in awe of all the great things that He has done and continues to do.
Thats the great thing about God right???? That although we might think that we know what His plans are, they are greater than what we could have ever imagined. BECAUSE God loves us, is there for us and His timing is always perfect. I have learned and continue to learn, how to trust in His timing and daily pray for strength, during those moments in which I patiently need to be still and know that He is God. Jamie Tworkowski puts it best by saying, “We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don’t get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won’t solve all the mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we’re called home.” Throughout these next months in Africa I want to love. I want God to use me as His vessel to bring hope, joy, love and peace to those around me. I want to continually grow in my walk with God and pour out my life to Him. God has put me on this new journey and has called me to step out in faith as a missionary for a reason and although I don't know what lies ahead I will trust Him. "And I could hold on I could hold on to who I am and never let You Change me from the inside And I could be safe I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home Never let these walls down But You have called me higher You have called me deeper And I'll go where You will lead me Lord" I have had this song on repeat from the start of this journey and I continually catch myself singing this song as I go about my day. This song has helped me to put my trust in God and has helped me when it came to stepping out and taking that leap of faith to saying yes to the calling of being a student missionary. God indeed has called me higher and deeper to a place that although I know some things about, will still be the unknown for me. Although I will face struggles, experience change, experience heartbreak and so much more, I know that God has called me to go out there and serve Him. He has called me to love and I will go wherever He is leading me. I cannot wait to meet all the beautiful children and people of Swaziland. I love them so much already and I haven't even met them yet. THANK YOU for all of your love and support throughout this journey!!!!! I will try my best to keep you all updated as much as I can throughout my journey with this blog and more. Blessings! With love, Patty
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